Mr Tak Glam Loud Hailer

im back!

2008-10-18T00:51:00.004+08:00

HELLO everybody! WASSUP!!! Im back!!! Sorry for the 3 month haitus man! Was f***ing busy!! Actually not la... f***ing lazy to be exact. Actually im quite busy la, after 2nd thought. Aiyah whatever. Anw... im back to blogggg an exclusive entry!! Hahaha. Yes, something really dramatic happened to me recently, drama enough until i must record this happening in this blog.

Wohooooo! Mr takglam is back agaiiinnnnn!!! EEEEEEyahhhhh!!

Okie thats random. Haha back to normal. So anw, something drama happened to me yday. So lets not waste time, and get to business!

So here's how it goes:

As u all know, usually i will go out of school and dance outside. So to travel to my destination at dohby ghaut, i had to take a train from buona vista MRT.

So i was taking a train from buona vista MRT towards the city direction. Since the train was relatively crowded, i was standing in front of the train doors that dont open. U know, train doors will only open at 1 particular side right (yes dover is another side i know)? At the commonwealth stop (cant really rem), this 1 particular student boarded the train. Nothing weird right? Except the fact that this boy, was giving me weird vibes! Okay, describe the boy abit, abit short, not so thin la and wearing green uniform top! As in, i could sense something wrong la. Why would i say that? Cos, the boy was almost standing at a 65 degree facing towards me! As in, when u board a train,, u would usually face the door that opens right so that u can make way for people and whatever right? But no.... this 'cute' boy was standing facing almost his back towards the door and almost in my front direction! Okay, he was abt 2m away from me, quite far actually. But i SWEAR he was giving me weird vibes, like those kind that want to look at you but keep glancing away kind. Y i so sure? Cos i got previous experience la.. Haha stories for another time. So he keep looking at me, and glancing away. And as the train proceeded, guess what? He was inching his way towards me! Haha, u know in dance? Crab walk? I swear he was crab walking towards me. Haha of cos i noticed it and i tried to stay as far from him as possible. But before i knew it, he was standing behind me alr! So both of us are facing the opening door now la, and he was like 0.3m away from me at my back. Wah damn shag, i was damn sians. Most sian part is I must act normal and can only side glance to see if he is coming nearer towards me.

Okie, soon the train came to 1 of the transition stops. And naturally people wan to squeeze their way out right? At that point, there was this guy who needed to walk past me to get out of the train and of cos i needa move my body back right? Wah at that point, i sure the boy hands were damn near my butt la, can?! Haha. So i decided to protect my chasisty(LOL dunno how to spell, u shud get my drift), and moved towards the centre of the train (in the middle of adjacent doors). WAH, phewwwwww. He never follow me in! HENG siaaaa... Haha, so at that point, i was doubting myself la. As in, am i being oversensitive or something?

So yea, the train proceeded on. Okay, in order to get to dobhy ghaut, there are effectively 2 ways. 1st, drop at Raffles place MRT and change to jurong east. 2nd, drop at City hall MRT and change to jurong east. So that day, for whatever weird reason, i didnt drop off at raffles place MRT. The guy student did though! So at that point i was convinced i was just being overly sensitive. Yea. Haha, story v boring liao right??? Waiiittttttt.... Still got moree...

So i drop off at City hall mrt and proceeded on to dohby ghaut MRT. Actually, on the train, i was actually v urgent! As in, i needed to pee for damn long alr la and i was tahan-ing on the train. Yup, so when i alighted from the train, i practically chionged my way up to the dohby ghaut mrt toilet! The toilet was quite crowded la, so i went for the 2nd last urinal. The last 1 was for kids 1, u know those v short 1??

Yup, so when i started to pee, (I was damn urgent i tell u), i was freaking SHIOK la. Actually at that point, i wanted to fart for damn long also liao la. Haahahaha, then i was pondering whether should i fart while peeing, duno if this fart is the got sound 1 kind anot. Hahahaha. lol, damn unglam i know. Harlo, whats the title of the blog??

So b4 i could come to a conclusion to whether i should fart anot, i noticed something weird. At the corner of my eyes (anw the toilet right, got mirrors above the urinal de, so u can see ur surroundings through the relection la), i could see something moving from the left of my cubicle to occupy the last cubicle beside me, which is for the kids 1 la, rem????

So i was thinking, why so weird 1 this person. Then i noticed his shirt, OMG, he is the same student that was giving me weird vibes at the train just now! How QIAO the world can be right???? Haha, i totally didnt expect to meet him there la. But the icing on the cake was, guess what he was doing bside me at the kids urinal?????

MASTURBATING! He was freaking masturbating beside me! WTHHHH man. I totally forget whether did i fart that day alr anoot la! Sumore u know what, i was freaking urgent! So i totally was peeing for a long 1.5 mins! I think its the longest 1.5mins of my life man! So at the corner of my eye, (u didnt expect me to look him in the eye didnt u!!), i could see him glancing at me lah (above urinal is mirrors)! He was glancing at my impossible to be erected at that time dick la, f***ker! And yes, i could see him playing with his black rod + he was making weird noisessssss (moanin sound)! WTH man. The toilet at least got 10 people inside at that time u know. Wah lao. I was dying to pee finish la k! Haha but i seem like got endless pee i duno why. U know the kind of situation where u super ER DIAO alr and u still must act like nothing happen n look in blank space? That's what i went through! Hahaha. Okie, fortunately, i finally finish peeing and zoom-ed out of the toilet! Wah lao, buy 4D also not so lucky can. I duno what happened to the boy la, but after i left, i think the other guys can see him M-ing lo (i was shielding him, rem?). Wah lao, in public toilet ley, brave.

So yea, that's basically what happened yday. Very explosive right? Anw, some thoughts that came into my mind. As in, what's going on the guy's mind when he was doing that ahem ahem thing?

As in, how does he even derive excitement(erm, a erection i mean)? By fantasizing about me??? Omg i would die to think even think about that la! Hahaha. Hello! I was fully clothed le at that time ley. Imagine if i never wear anything.

And, why does he even need to show me what he was doing???!! Cos he know i would be v digusted, and that would make him even more excited? Wah lao, im still v disturbed by his disturbing thoughts!

Lastly, i am a guy ley! A pervert guy masturbate in front of a girl still normal la, wah lao guy masturbating beside me and glancing at me is totally uncool lo. Imagine u are a gal, then a gal M-ing bside u, wouldn't u die on the spot? Hahah.

And and and, after all the discussion with my friends, here are some totally cool scenarios!

1) Imagine i started to shout v loudly, 'wah, got people playing with water gun in toilet!!!!'. LOL. Duno whether he can stand the pressure, and still remain 'standing' anot! LOL.

2) Imagine i get erected also! HAHAHHAHAHA. omg. then i show him! Omg. This is totally impossible, u better STOP imagining also!

Okies. So this sums up this totally rocks happening. Any similar stories to share??? Come on, I need a support group man! Hahahaha. Anw, i still got 2 more this kind of happenings in my life. Both on buses, but no M-ing though. LOL. This really takes the cake, no way to beat.

Okies, i signing off! Hope i can update more lame stuff soon! Not this kind of stories alr arh, i hope. Hahhahaah.

BYE PPL! MISS ME PLS. LOL.

p.s. why alex dance so well to micheal jackson song??

cos he is from MJ mah! DUH.

pick up

2008-07-18T01:10:00.001+08:00

Wonderful pick up line.

(insert your name) : Your are so pleasing to my eyes, no wonder you are my eye CANDY.
Candy: *melts*

Haha, i really got a friend called Candy k! But i think candy fainted when i msged her just now. LOL.

stupiiidddddd

2008-07-11T13:00:00.007+08:00

Whheeeee... HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARCUS TAN! Hope u didnt kana butch-ered just now. LOL. Anw, must tell u all this classic story of Mr Chen Yayi.

So apparently i went Mambo on wed night, came home n started sleeping at 5.20am. Dont know what happened to me, maybe is alcohol of whatever, i woke up at 9am with a 'grand' idea!

Marcus's birthday is on Friday, which is now as i'm typing la.

So i started to type on my hp intending to send to my friend ,"Hey! Want to go Marcus house later at 12am and surprise him with a birthday cake? U jio XX,YY. I jio ZZ. Sounds fun? And don't ask me why i'm awake at 9am." Thinking that idea was damn fun n exciting, i was ready to send the message out.

Guess who i send the message to?

Marcus. WTHHHHH!!! I swear i switched off the hp as fast as i could, pluck the freaking battery out of the hp. Bot to no avail..... SENT alr. SIANS to the max man! Hahahahaa..... That must be my stupidest moment in my life la. Serious. Imagine telling u friend to collabro with u to copy during exams, and u send the farking message to ur TEACHER! Hahahahhaa.... how stupid right? LOL.

SO i was really sians and abit tireds arh at 9am n i sent this to Marcus trying to save the 'surprise', 'Marc! Actually i also not v sure they r free anot laaa... U better pretend u neva saw the msg arh! Omg i feel damn stupid now. Hahaha'

Okie i went to sleep. And tadah! We 'surprised' him at night! Lucky he wasn't at home n went out clubbing to celebrate, so the surprise did work to a certain extent( he was like ermmm... 60% surpirsed.) ! Hahahaaaa. Fate rocks. Sidetrack abit, im a big believer of fate. Like how we are all inter connected, how things just fall in place naturally sometimes. Haha so im a big fan of the fat-E. if u realised, the E was fattttt. Hahaha.

Yeap! So this is a big lesson for me to learn man. Better dont be so excited next time. Lucky i always badmouth ppl in front of them, so i not so scared of sending wrong sms. LOL.

Shall end off with a v classic pic of birthday boy!

nice pics

2008-07-09T01:13:00.004+08:00

Hi ppl! Finally i have some pictures to show u all after all these boring words n crappy stuff!!! Anw, was at work today and saw some super interesting sights. Shall show u all!

Guess what is this row of words for??

Tadah! Must learn more from their super cute way of rhyming k! And now i know why floods are so dangerous now alr, cos water = fierce!

HAHA. This is a total classic. Give u 50 barks if u can guess correctly what the english word means. And if u ever know how to PRONOUNCE the word, TEACH me okay? ("Quoting from Miss LaLa") LOL.

Who says work is boring??!! Work is exciting mans.

floor to floor

2008-07-05T23:48:00.002+08:00

Ohh... A incident that happened quite long ago, last week after a dance class. A few of us were at MOS burger eating....

Yw: So what do u all do for Dance Ensemble training?
Me: Ohhh... 1 hour luigi stretching (not LUGI arh winnie zara), i hour ermm... what's that thing called... erm.. wall to wall? floor to floor? corner to corner?
(Aiyah, too long never go for training alr... this i admit... so i somehow forgot the name..... guiltyness)
Me (YES, still me): Oh! i rem alr! Corner to corner la....
Kuans: Yah la u blur, floor to floor also la... Same meaning...
Me: Ya loh, tell u arh.. the people there damn pro la... all do double pirouette machiam like free 1...
(Something came to my mind at that moment!)
Me: If is the zai people doing arh, it is called Floor to floor. If is Yayi doing arh, then is called Flaw to flaw... Flaws to flaws actually... I too many flaws alr. Same pronunciation, different fates.

bessy

2008-06-30T22:05:00.003+08:00

Bessy: Wah, why you like so tired these days?
Me: Ooohhh, rehearsals n rehearsals for blast concert.
Bessy: Orh, what's the name arh?? Shut up and dance?
Me: Yah.
Bessy: Wah the concert suits you alot ley!
Me： Why ley?
Bessy: SHUT UP and DANCE mah. Hahahaa. MOST appropriate name for you man.

I kana lamed again. So SAD... my peers are overtaking me... booooohooooo.....

I can almost imagine how peaceful the world is if i shut up and dance.. maybe we should hold the concert more frequently sia.....

annnnn

2008-06-25T00:28:00.002+08:00

REM my good friend winnie??!! Well, she actually lamed me today! Haha, quite a feat i mean. So i shall thank her for contributing to my blog and write about what happenend. Anw, think dancers will understand the joke better. Lol, here it goes.

Me: Wah i tell u arh, that day i went for Ann's class right. Omg, almost died.
Winnie: Why ley?
Me: Wah her counting is damn fast la! Is like 1 And 2 And 3 And 4 And 5 And... All the way for 2 Eights la!
Winnie: Haha. Aiyah of cos la! She is ANN mah, of cos all ANN counts right!
Me fainted. Haha! Winnie rocks, give me more inspiration tmr k.

Anw, life's too hard, cant even breathe. Need someone to save me from my super running nose (running a marathon i think, cant stop). Almost died of no breath while dancing laaaa... Haiyah.. I just wan to complain. Okie, shall sleep! Ciaoz.

canteen!

2008-06-23T00:03:00.002+08:00

Okie, a really bizarre story out of my very lame mind. Haha. Totally non-fiction. If it happens in real life, i will be very shocked! Haha. Okie, so here it goes....

It was January 2nd year 2XXX. Mary was bringing her secondary 1 daughter, Lizzy to her new school. Since there was sometime b4 the official briefing and Lizzy was hungry, Mary decided to bring Lizzy to the school's canteen for a quick bite. Just as they was about to step into the canteen, a security personnel came up to Mary and told her, 'Mdm, im so sorry, but u are not allowed to access our canteen.'

Mary was super puzzled, and wondered what did she have done wrong to be denied access. So she decided to ask the security personnel, 'I'm don't understand. Why am i not allowed into ur school's canteen?'

Security personnel : Well, mdm, i'm quite sure u wouldn't wan to know the real reason.
Mary (getting abit fustrated) : Okie, then dun tell me the reason then. Just let me in will you!
Security personnel: Im so sorry mdm, but i cant.
Mary: WHY!!???

Security personnel : Cos it's a CANTEEN, ADULTS CANNOT!

Mary fainted on the spot. Hahahaha.

Security personnel (smirking) : Told u so, still wan to ask.

Okie, end of story. Lizzy and security guard live happily ever after. Haha.

Okie, this story is damn bo liao i dont even know why i am typing this. Will be very busy these few days, hope to bring u something fresher and funnier soon! Hahaha.

Isaac Newton

2008-06-21T01:19:00.002+08:00

Dont really think this entry will be really entertaining n funny. But whateva. Haha, shall attempt.

Me: Oohhh, so Jane is staying at Bukit Timah izzit? Can see la, somehow she got the BT feel. Haha.
Isaac: Oh really meh? How u see? Cos she looks rich?
Me: Ya sort of. Not like u, can see you are not from Newton 1.
Isaac: Yah im really not mah, im from Hougang.
Me: No, cos u r not Isaac Newton.

Conversation as expected ended abruptly here, like as usual. LOL.

Im duno why, but im quite good at ending conversations. LOL. Ask me for help next time if u need.

Yi San Yi Shi = 1314

2008-06-18T00:44:00.009+08:00

Haha, so apparently i have this clique in hall called Yi San Yi Shi, loosely translated as forever la. U know, all those mushy msgs u expect ur bf/gf to send to u. Trust me, dont trust them. Hahahaha. Anw, not going to write a love entry but an entry specially dedicated to our friendship! Haha, not going to tell u grandma old touching stories, but going to give u the most memorable moments we had during the last 2 days of our hall stay last sem! On 1st day of the 2, we played MJ until 5 am i think, and continued with TABOO until 8am! Super fun. As expected, at the early wee hours, sure alot of boos boos right?? ESP involving BIMBO yiwen. Hahahaaha. Okie, a pic of the 4 of us 1st after the taboo session at hall breakfast!

Yiwen's turn to give clue, San Duo (my fit hairy friend, LOL) to guess.

Yiwen: Sanduo! U have alot of these on your stomach!
SD: Abs?!
Yiwen: No!
SD: Hair?!
Yiwen: No!
SD: Msucles???
Yiwen: No!!

Yayi, Shiping (happily): Time's up!

Me and SP went to see the real answer on Yiwen's card and we DIED. On the spot hollering.
SD (a lil irritated alr): So what's the real ans?!!
Yiwen: Biceps.
SD = speechless.

LOL. If u didn't luff it's ok. But im quite sure i DIED on that day. Hahahahaha. Bimb YW, u rocks.

Okie, now Shiping's turn to ask, Yiwen to guess.

Shiping: Who's the guy in the jungle who always beats his chest????!!!
Yiwen: Er, errr.. rambo??
Shiping: No! Guess guess, quick! He swings about in the jungle!
Yiwen: ORHHHHHHHH
Yiwen(excitedly!): SHREK!

All of us DIED again. Luckily i didn't SHRIEK arh. LOL.

Yiwen's turn to give clue again! SD to guess.

Yiwen: Children like to sit this when they r young!
SD: Swing???
SD: See saw??
Yiwen: No!!

Yayi, Shiping (happily again!): Time's up!!

Yiwen: Trolley.

We didn't survive. LOL.

Okie. Some pics to celebrate our friendship!!

Expressions

2008-06-18T00:21:00.000+08:00

Z: U know... Sometimes.. i feel that i cant really express myself...
Me: Well, actually in Singapore, there are actually quite a few ways to express yourself u know?
Z: Uh huh, like???
Me: Well, depends on what u like lo. There is ECP, PIE, AYE. 10 to be exact for u to choose from. All are quite efficient EXPRESS-WAYS, which way u want to express urself? i drive u there.
Z: *rolls eyes* for 360 degrees until i can see the pupils again. LOL.

Hidden meaning of brands!

2008-06-17T12:41:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: I have nothing against these 2 brands! Just that their names are quite fun to 'play' with. Don't sue me pls!

1) Which kind of apparel is DKNY most famous for? (From Mr D)

Business, casual, or?????

2) Why doesn't DHL deliver on time? (From Mr S)

Okie. All got something to do with their names! Check out the answers at the tagboard. Not here. And pls don't flood the tagboard until the answers disappear! Hahahaha.

Why Mr Tak Glam Loud Hailer?

2008-06-16T15:53:00.001+08:00

Haha, my friend has contributed to the title of this blog! So i shall recognise her efforttt! She told me to use Loud Hailer which i tot was quite apt so viola, Tak Glam Loud Hailer was born. Anw, my good friend is none other then Miss Winnie Zara Chan (with a latest new middle name!)! See, my friend's names are damn long and cool, means they got alot of blood. Go and get them to DONATE! Hahaa. But winnie dont have alot of blood now la hor, maybe NEXT time will? LOL. Inside joke.

Anw, why the name Tak Glam Loud Hailer? Tak Glam - Well, for those who know me personally, u will know how glam and refined person i am. So yea, instead of living in self denial, i have decided to own up! Haha, takes a lot of courage 1 okay. Loud Hailer - Wah lao, if u need me to explain this arh, im sure you cant hear very well when u near me. Haha. So tadah! All the pieces of puzzle in place and ready to move over to crossword! Okay thats random.

Lastly, i have grown up to realise that i canttttttt and will never be able to please EVERYONE. So instead of asking me to conform to whatever standards on how a human being should live and everything, pls just accept me the way i am eh? If not, u can dont even bother about me. I dun really mind. For those who want lame crap and everything, well, here's not the left place! I assure u i will be more disciplined in uploading new stuff! Haha.

Till the next entry!

One of my favs.

2008-06-16T12:48:00.000+08:00

This is copied from my previous blog, one of my favs. Haha.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

heard this story today....

at a triathlon race, the swim leg will usually will be the 1st. usually the standard distance for the swim leg would be 1.5km. so at last year's osim triathlon, there was this guy who took part, and decided to give up the race during his swim. so since he was half-way thru, he swam back to the shore. upon reaching the shore, over-enthu officals apparently went to yank his championship tag (the athletes are required to wear the chips to track their movement in the race) off his leg, and draw a big cross on his shoulders(the place where the race id would be written on). super embarassing to the competitior right? like branding him as a loser who give up easily.

so i was thinking... shouldn't this be termed as Racism???? the over-enthu officials are acting like well, Racists.

so tada! a new meaning to the word 'Racism' is born!

Racism - any distinction, exclusion, restriction or preference based on a person's inability to complete a race which has the purpose or effect of nullifying or impairing the recognition, enjoyment or exercise, on an equal footing, of human rights and fundamental freedoms in the race field

Hulk's true hidden identity

2008-06-16T02:05:00.000+08:00

Did u know? The Incredible Hulk actually had a hidden identity and has been living for about.. erm... 50000 years alr!?? U mean u really didn't know? Well, here's a pic of the incredible hulk.

Well, Hulk's hidden identity was really famous also! Just not so angsty like Hulk, abit little bit fatter and have cuter ears then Hulk! Okie, not telling you who he is. Click here
to find out urself who he is! Pls try to guess abit 1st k, plsssss... entertain meee.... Haha...

I wondered what happened to Hulk over the past few thousands years to make him so angsty n lean n toned! Hahaha. Maybe the world is really evil i guess, or Princess Fiona couldnt stop giving birth throughtout the few thousands years and they had a million babies or so. Looking at my cousin, if i had 3 babies, i guessed i would be freaking angsty already with 3 (not so toned maybe.. haha). Now u know what happened to Hulk then.

Sidetrack!

My Msn Nick: What is Incredible Hulk called 5000 years ago? Ans: Princess Fiona fat husband.

A: I keep thinking Fiona Apple.
Me: Yah correct. Fiona GREEN Apple.
A: LAME

Updated nick: What is Incredible Hulk called 5000 years ago? Ans: I dun Shriek.

Why!!!??? Cos I dun Shriek = Shrek. LOL.

Yea. Mission accomplished.

My good friend. Glass.

2008-06-16T01:01:00.000+08:00

So i have this good friend of mine called Glass. Yes glass, the thing cinderlala wore when she went to find her prince. So he read my blog, (yay! people ACTUALLY bother, u know?) and told me the correct spelling of the paradox shit (pun definitely intended) on the entry below. Well, the correct spelling is 'paradoxical'. Hey, i only left out 1 letter 'C' lol! Haha, not bad right for my QET standard. Ooohhh... dun get me all started on my 'very goood' friend who failed QET. Hahahaaaahhaaa. Well, that's a story for another day.

Back to today's topic. Glass! Derek Glass Gerard Junior to be exact. Yes, he is eurasian. Cool right, more blood means more words in ur name. Next time i dont dare to go donate blood alr, if not i might end up as being called 'Yi' 1 day. LOL. Anw, Glass is freaking (i really mean freaking) sociable, big breast and whatever. Visited his flat quite frequently last time also!

Okok, no more sidetracking. So im going to relate this very cool story about glass and our army friends (all from same camp). So apparently, they were having a gathering at a particular place and the message was passed throughout them (i didn't go,same camp but not same unit. haha) through sms and verbally.

So the message goes something like this, 'Hey guys, gathering this friday meet 730pm outside glasshouse! Dont be late!'. Okie, so what's ur take on a gathering of abt 30+ people on a friday night???? Definitely at somewhere big right?

And finally, the BIG day came! Its was the night for gathering!! And guess what, 28 people turned up at HERE.

Well, 2 other souls turned up at HERE. Okie no pic la! They turned up outside Glass's house!!! Omg. I think glass almost fainted when the 2 of them were knocking outside his door at 730pm, all excited abt the gathering (glass is quite late usually, lol), and ended up at the wrong place with the same pronouncation!

Speaking about blurness or miscom! The gathering was supposed to be at Glasshouse, not Glass's house! Man. To end up the story, we never had another gathering at Glasshouse anymore. Well actually we did, at Fish n Co. though. Haa.

Lame is back.

2008-06-16T00:35:00.000+08:00

Woots. Lame is back! After going on a hiatus of lame blogging of 2 years, i finally felt the fire n lameness within me to start blogging 'inspirations' again!. Dun ask me of my old blog address though. Haha, it's still floating on the world wide web and i'm not really totally exactly proud of it. Well, this time, i promise my stuff will be lamer then ever!

Lame is the new black.

Inspiration No. 1

Okie, it's gonna be about shitting. LOL. pls dun read further if shitting doesnt really interest u.

Just now i felt my stomach abit pain, means want to shit la! So i went to the toilet, brought along sunday times also thinking im might spend a GREAT time in the toilet. And just as i sat on the toilet bowl, ready to unload and bomb, the urge is gone! Like, totally no feeling anymore. Never even read the newspaper la, shit. Pun intended. LOL.

So..... it got me wondering! What's the feeling called, when u wanna and feel like shitting and, nothing comes out??? Am i supposed to feel shitty? But i didn't really shit, did i? Or must i start shitting to feel shitty? Hahaha. i just feel damn paradoxial (don't know got this word anot la). What's ur take on this man??

Pls dont tell me im shitty or crap, cos i know i am. Hahahaaaaaaaaa. But shitty didn't shit just now u know, and dont know what feeling it was! Pls advise!